Talk:Broken Mirrors/@comment-26030957-20150628170544/@comment-26112985-20150628203003
Thank you so much. I cannot articulate how greatful I am to you that you were honest in what you thought. I have not yet decided whether or not I'm going to edit it on my own time to make it better or just trash it completely. The first option seems far more plausible to me since I simply spent far too much time and effort for it all to go to waste. I just feel the need to point this out, when I said "His back hits the wall and looks at me in complete shock", what I meant was that he hit the wall after backing up too far and was looking at Leon in shock, he was cornered. The better sentence probably would've been "He looked at me in shock as his back hits the wall, he has nowhere to run". If I choose to edit it, than I will fix the skipping between past and present tenses as well as the minor errors. I think that you are right about naming the main character earleir. Since I am certianly nowhere near as good as Raymond Carver. I'll also be sure to add in the part about craniodiaphyseal dysplasia. As for the herion addiction, you are of course correct. One of my many flaws as a writer is how I rush into things to quickly and do not take the time to research like I should. I honestly didn't really want to delve into the character of Hank very much. All in all, I just wanted him in the story to cause the main character greif. Do you think you can elaborate on the lingo? I generally avoid people who are drug addicts, so do you think you can give me some insight on what one would talk like? You make some strong points about the mother dying from cancer. I'll fix that with your opinion in mind, as well as the plothole dealing with Leon's financial sitaution. I actually really liked the idea of the angel. It came to me when I was reading the book "The Wild Truth" and it mentioned the main character hearing what she claimed to be a heavenly voice for "the first and only time in my life". The voice told her that everything would be okay, and that her recently deceased brother had held her baby before she ever did. I realized that tales such as this one are pretty common, and I wondered what it would be like if the "angel" had less than honorable intentions. Or it may not be an angel at all, it very well could be a voice inside Leon's head. I actually have never read 'Red Dragon'. My intentions when writing this story were to create a serial killer who was different. I wanted to make him relatable and even seem more human to the readers. This entire story was actually inspired by real life serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. It was ultimately Dahmer's sexuality that drove him to kill, and I wanted to somehow excentuate that. Since homosexuality was certainly not an option, loneliness was my second best choice. I also knew when I began writing this story that I wanted to incorporate religion into it. Again, thanks for giving me your honest thoughts, and I am sorry for wasting your time.